Heart Surgery

I have a confession to make.

I've lied to you on why I am really in Fiji.

I'm here for heart surgery.

One of the most often asked questions I got before I left for Fiji (and that I am still getting in emails and Facebook messages) is “what is a DTS (Discipleship Training School)”? I didn't quite know how to explain it and, in all honesty, I don't think that I truly knew what I was getting into myself. So, my most standard response was “well, it's kinda like a mini bible school that focuses on helping others and helping the world”. Hmmm...

Well, that's just not true at all.

All of our speakers, whom so far are mostly pastors who have completed bible school and seminary as well as DTS, have acknowledged that DTS is not bible school and bible school is not DTS. Bible school is academic study of theology and the bible. DTS, however, exists solely to change hearts, open hearts up to heal wounds, encourage the life Jesus lived- to live a of love- and solidify our identity as children and heirs of God.

Here in Fiji, the staff refer to DTS as heart surgery.

While it is true that my biblical knowledge has increased substantially since my surgery began, it is just a small part of what is really happening here. God did not simply ask me to go to Fiji to learn some words in an old book. He called me here specifically to get to know Him- to be in relationship with Him.

You see, even the best of us- the pastors, the carpenters, the students, the social workers, the nurses, the undecided, the cooks, the mothers, the fathers, the teachers, the paramedics- don't really know God and going to bible school will not fix that. Many of us who believe in God- that Jesus is our Saviour- often go to church, go to our weekly bible studies, finding, like everyone else, that we are still plagued with the nagging feeling that we aren't good enough, that we don't do enough... Too often we are bound in hurt, resentment, unforgiveness and fear from our past and from lies we continually choose to believe about ourselves. God, the Father to the fatherless (Psalm 68:5), the One that created the heavens, the earth and you and me, wants to change that. And He uses DTS as a means to doing that.

The focus at DTS is not about academics, competition, or climbing on your high horse or becoming a holy roller. It is quite the opposite. It is not about you. The focus is on God and getting to know Him like you know your best friend or your spouse, realizing, understanding that He is not some random, angry Zeus-like stranger, sitting on a cloud, who is never happy with you. He is the One that knows how many hairs are on your head (Luke 12:7), how you sleep at night, what your favourite food is, that you never, ever sleep without covers on your feet otherwise the boogeyman will get you, what your greatest hurt is and who is your greatest love. There is no one, and I do mean no one who knows you better. He knows the good, the bad and the ugly and none of it has scared Him away. And DTS helps you to realize this love, His wisdom and the security of being His son or daughter. DTS challenges you to examine your life and everything you thought you knew about yourself, God and Jesus and to throw it aside, never looking back- for the road of life, the road that God specifically designed for you, is about to take you places you've never thought possible. No one comes to DTS a whole and healthy person. We are all, in our own ways, broken, but through the process of DTS, we will leave changed for the better and, I suspect, unstoppable in the life of love that Jesus asked us to live: to love our God, our perfect Father, our Provider, our great Comforter, with all of our heart, soul and mind and to love those around us like we would want to be loved. Yes, even those that irritate and anger us, those that are mean to us, those that don't do things like we would do them, those that have done the unthinkable, as well as those that smell funny (Matthew 22:37-39).

Live a life of love.

DTS is a part of a world wide Christian non-profit organization called Youth With a Mission (YWAM). YWAM was started in 1960 when Loren Cunningham was given a vision of waves of youth going out to all corners of the earth, helping others and telling them about God. In the last 50 years, YWAM went from that dream to hundreds of thousands of people giving their lives to serve the people in the world. On a practical sense, DTS consists of 2 phases: the 12 week lecture phase and the 8-12 week outreach phase. During the lecture phase, speakers from all over the world (there is a new speaker and topic every week) come to teach you about living the life of love. Some of the topics that are covered include "Hearing the Voice of God", "The Cross, Repentance and the Holy Spirit", "The Father Heart of God", "Authority and Submission" and "Relationships". It is an amazing time of learning- just when you think it can't get any better, it always does. Processing all of this takes time and examination into our lives, and DTS is structured to give you that time.

The outreach phase is dependent on the DTS that you go to and what God leads you to. Most DTSes have either a country that they love dearly or a group of people they want to help (or sometimes both). My outreach phase doesn't start until April 11, so I'm unsure of what to expect, but I do know that it will be eye opening, challenging and life transforming. Our DTS focuses on Fiji, so we will be traveling all over Fiji to various Fijian and Indian villages, living with them in community and reaching out to them in love.

I would recommend DTS for everybody, at any stage or age in life. You won't regret it. It will not be easy, even sometimes painful and sometimes you just want to say, “forget this, I'm going home”. But something inside of you always stops you with the undeniable, nagging feeling that you will be missing out on something special that could be a turning point in your life, perhaps even a radical and amazing life change that wasn't expected or imagined. There are over 200 DTS locations throughout the world and so many opportunities. As I looked over all of the DTS websites, I was amazed at how many of these DTSes would be so great for some of you...

For my friend Julie, “University DTS” seems like a cool option. The DTS is held over 2 summers, so as a university student, you can do the lecture phase one summer, and then the outreach phase the next summer. You (or any other university student) can click here for more information.

Joy, Laura and Katie, I immediately thought of each of you when I found the “Children at Risk DTS”. It focuses on the needs of children around the world and the issues that put them at risk — sex trafficking, poverty, AIDS, abuse, child soldiers, and broken families. Click here for more information.

Jenny, I know that you've rethought your career in photography, but I also know how much you love it as well. There is a DTS for you too! “Photography DTS” may be just the thing for you to get to know your Father in heaven and celebrate Him through your beautiful photography. Click here if you are interested!

Nick, I know you are feeling called to serve God at Hungry for Life and I am so excited for you and can't wait for you to start. But maybe a DTS would be a great way to start your new adventure? I found 2 DTSes for you- they both focus on regular DTS lessons, combined with all of the outdoor stuff you love to do. One is the “Adventure DTS”, and you can click here for more info and the other one is “Endurance DTS”, and the information is here.

“Crossroads DTS” has a family focus that welcomes parents and their children for a once in a lifetime experience of learning and outreach as a family. Krist and Terilynn, Reg and Suzanne, Linda and James, I know it might be a stretch for your families to go on such an adventure, but just remember that nothing is impossible with God. If you are interested (even just a little bit), click here.

Leslie, you are one of my closest friends and I know how much you love playing hockey. Believe it or not, there is a “Hockey DTS” in Canada and you can get more information by clicking here.

And Devon, you love music and I know you are going to love traveling after your big trip at Easter. Why not go to Australia when you are done high school and join the “Music DTS”? How cool would that be?! The information is right here.

The amount and different kinds of DTS opportunities really is truly amazing. Really, the only thing that is stopping you is you. No matter what happens, I know that I will never regret putting a pause on my life and going to DTS.

Live a life of love.

Thanks for reading,

Christy

A Day in the Life...

I've had a lot of emails and Facebook messages from people, encouraging me, keeping me informed and just simply wondering what I've been up to. I've been absolutely terrible at writing people back, mainly because I've been so busy since I got here. To those of you who have written to me, thank you. Even your short messages have been great to receive. Please do not stop writing me; I am slowly, but surely writing everyone back. I may be in a different country, a day ahead (depending on where you are reading this) and doing something different, but I still think of you and want to be connected with you.

This week, I thought I'd share what my life is like here- the day to day of my life in Fiji, at DTS. I'm not sure that it is going to make for an interesting or thought provoking read, but it's here for you to read:

Monday through Friday, we have a set schedule and this is when all of our classes occur. Despite the phenomenon of “Fiji time”, we run on time, all the time. Although my life has become more consistent and routine here, I am enjoying it because what we are learning is far from routine. My alarm goes off at 5:50am every morning so I can crawl out of bed to get ready for my morning run and workout. Now, don't be too impressed- my run is more of a jog and the whole run/workout thing only lasts about 45 minutes because it is around 25 degrees Celsius, even at 6 in the morning. I sweat just getting out of bed in the morning, so by the time I'm done this farce of a workout, I look like I've just been swimming (what a delicate flower I am, eh?!). Running here at that time in the morning is interesting too... it's pretty dark at that time and there are very few street lamps, so I will admit I've nearly- literally- ran into some Fijians (who likely saw this white girl glowing in the dark a mile away) and fallen on my arse because of the many, many potholes and uneven sidewalks. Hey, I never claimed to be graceful.

Once I'm home, I make my breakfast, usually eggs and fresh papaya, then head to the shower. Our house doesn't have a great water system, so we frequently run out of water, leaving the bucket bath as our only option. We also use solar water heating so, no sun, no warm water. Let's just say I've given up on smelling good here...

After getting ready and praying/reading my bible, our classes start at 8:30. From 8:30-9:00, we have a worship and/or prayer service, many times focusing on prayer for different countries or ministries in YWAM. At 9:00, our classes begin with an hour and a half lecture, followed by a 30 minute tea time, then back to the lecture for another hour and a half. Every week a new speaker, usually from YWAM, comes to our school to speak on the week's topic. Most of our speakers are from Fiji, New Zealand or Australia, but we do have 1 American and 1 Canadian who are living in Fiji speaking here over the next few weeks. At 12:30, our lectures are finished for the day and lunch is served. Issac, a Fijian and former DTS student, is our cook for the school and I think he is doing a fantastic job. We eat a combination of Fijian, Indian and Western dishes. Food in general is pretty expensive here, but vegetables, meat and dairy seem to be the most expensive. Rice, noodles, and fruit are fairly cheap. Lunches are usually sandwiches or fried rice or soup or roti (that's an Indian bread that you eat with curry, very yummy!). Most of our supper dishes tend to have a rice and a noodle (a lotta carbs!), usually there is a small amount of veggies and meat. And we always end every meal with fresh pineapple, which is found in abundance. There are many days when supper looks a little suspicious, but it is always delicious.

After lunch, we are required to complete some work duties. Every 2 weeks we are assigned a work duty to keep our houses and classroom clean. Dish/meal clean up, dusting, sweeping and mopping, bathrooms, outside work are all a part of these duties. By 3pm, we have some free time until supper is served at 5:30. I usually use this time to catch up on my notes and journal- we are required to keep a weekly journal of everything we've learned during the week and of our relationships with God and others (can I just say that I hate journaling? I really do). I will also try to hop on the internet at this time, because it is the early evening (the day before) back home, so maybe I will be able to catch someone on Facebook or Skype. Once supper is done, we have free time again and I will usually go for a swim to cool off and then read for the rest of the night... which really isn't very long, as bedtime for me here is 9pm! I don't know what has gotten into me, but by 9pm I'm totally knackered! I think that it is a combination of the early mornings, the heat and humidity, and the intense lectures, but maybe I'm just getting old? On Monday nights we might have class if the speaker needs more time with us. On Thursday nights, we host a Community Night, where anyone from the community can come for a night of worship and a short message from the speaker of the week (and always followed by some visiting, tea and yummy treats!). And on Friday nights, it is movie/family night, where we just hang out and have some fun.

The weekends are totally free. So far I haven't left Lautoka yet to explore, but that is going to change this weekend. One weekend, I had to cook supper (we all take turns on the weekends) and the rest of my weekends have been spent relaxing and exploring the city and just getting settled in. I've found a great little coffee shop not far from where I live and that is where I often spend my Saturday mornings, finishing my journal or trying to blog... but mostly I people watch. :) I've been trying out different churches in the area, trying to find a church home while I am here, but so far, no luck. There is one church that I kind of like, but most of the DTS students are going to it, so you know me... I've got to be independent and different, so I'm still searching.

On the "home front", I am no longer sharing a bedroom with anyone- I have a room all to myself! My roommate left to go back home, reportedly to a different DTS there. I'm not sure what she was expecting when she came to Fiji, but she didn't give herself a chance to find it. In all honesty, she really wasn't ready to be here. My mom said to me before I left that she felt sorry for anyone who had to share a bedroom with me because I'm such a picky sleeper... very funny, Mom, but I wasn't the one to drive her away.  :)

And that, my friends, is my life at present, in a nutshell. There's ups and there's downs, but overall there's peace and contentment. I can't say that I am making any lifelong friends here; we are all so different and at different stages of our lives, but the people here are good and just looking for some more Jesus in their lives.

Thanks for reading,

Christy

This is Going to Hurt

In our first week, we watched a DVD series on pride. Now, for those of you who are picturing me and a bunch of internationals cheering on Jesus in a God-pride rally, let me tell you that isn't what I'm talking about.

What I am talking about is PRIDE, that dark, super-ego feeling of thinking I am better than others, that I am something I am not, that I am independent above others and God. Pride. Like a cancer, it subtly, but quickly spreads undetected throughout my heart and my soul taking me down, and often taking those around me with it. Why is it that pride can have such control of me for so long and I am so oblivious, so in denial, to the point where relationships are broken and I've alienated myself and those around me, all in the name of self?

That, my friends, is the very essence of pride. It hides itself in the darkest corners of our hearts, keeping a low profile, while giving us the illusion that we are right, that we are better than others, that we don't need help, that it was someone else's fault. In the Bible, Obadiah 1:3 says, “the pride of your heart deceives you... ”. Can you believe it?! We are being deceived and being lied to and being tricked by pride. And I don't know about you, but I fall for it every single time.

The speaker on this DVD stated that he believes that every sin, every conflict, even every war, can be traced back to pride: at the root of every sin is pride. In retrospect, pride has been at the epicentre of every conflict in my life, with grace and love nowhere to be found in my heart... only self-interest, self-infatuation, self-pity, self-worship, self-promotion... Proverbs 13:10 says that “pride breeds quarrels... “ and I have gladly, pridefully, taken up many quarrels all in the name of self. It is an on going battle that I am desperate to win, but when I look at the following symptoms of pride, I fear that I may get exactly what I deserve:

superiority                  people pleasing

demanding attitude     taking glory from God 

ungratefulness            divisiveness

hard heart                  selfishness

envy                           blame-shifting

presumption               sarcasm

judgmental, critical     impatience

self-sufficiency            self-pity

flattery                       comparison

disloyalty                    resentment

Ouch.

Friends, I am ill with pride.

And Jesus, by His example and in His wisdom, has given us the cure: humility. And in order to get a prescription to clear up that nasty, festering pride, I have to repent.

Hmmm... maybe there's an antibiotic I could use instead?

It is important to remember that humility is not humiliation. My dictionary widget makes this clear: “Humble and humiliate sound similar, but humiliate emphasizes shame and the loss of self-repect... while humble is a milder term implying a lowering of one's pride or rank”. In John 13, we find the classic example of humility when Jesus, the Son of God, got down on his knees and washed the feet of each of his disciples. Can you imagine?! Jesus, the One who came to save the world from sin, washed His disciples' feet! I mean, think of it in a way that most of us can comprehend: imagine Stephen Harper or Barack Obama or some other powerful world leader or celebrity or authority, humbly getting down on their knees before you and washing your feet. Or imagine getting down on your knees, washing the feet of a homeless person, a thief, someone you despise, or a prostitute. Welcome to humility, where the ground at the foot of the cross is level.

Now, we don't necessarily have to wash another's feet to gain humility. Jesus told us to love others like we want to be loved (Matthew 22:39). His disciple Paul encourages us to consider others better than ourselves (Philippians 2:3) and to respect those in authority over us, working hard because in reality, we are working for God (Colossians 3:22-23). I have never had much success with any of these acts of humility and I have suffered greatly for it, as have my relationships with the people I have failed. If I have learned anything in the last couple of weeks, it is that if there is an area in your life where you are not successful, pride is the likely culprit. Pride is the coward's way, humility takes courage and grace.

In my life, I need to truly submit and accept those who are in authority over me, which for me specifically speaks to my employer. My pride and arrogance has made me a bad employee. A terrible employee, to be honest. I hate that, that's not who I am or who God wants me to be. I am ashamed of my behaviour and my arrogance. Independence, which I seem to love so dearly, has made me susceptible to pride, to sin. Submission, however, will put me in a place of protection under God's chosen leaders. And I need that protection to help keep me from pride.

I am just so thankful that our God is the One of love, fairness, and mercy.

Thanks for reading,

Christy

This is Fiji: Lautoka

I thought it was time to show off my new home for next few months, the city of Lautoka. Lautoka is the second largest city on the island of Viti Levu, with a population of roughly 53,000. Like the rest of Fiji, English is spoken here, along with the main Fijian dialect. The name of the city comes from two Fijian words meaning "spear hit". Apparently, there was a duel between two chiefs. As one speared the other, he was reported to have cried "Lau-toka!" (thanks Wikipedia- is there anything that you don't know?!).

For those of you with Google Earth, my address is 84 Drasa Avenue, Lautoka (I haven't checked to see if the house is on G-Earth).

Here are a few pictures of my new hometown for the next 5 months:

 One of the main downtown streets

 The mannequins in the storefronts are hilarious... is this what Fijian retailers think North Americans look like? I especially like the ½ mannequin on the bottom left hand corner because he looks like my coworker Stephen (minus the blue hair). Snazzy and kind of creepy all at the same time...

 The Farmer's Market. It is huge and you can get any kind of fresh fruit here for very cheap. Last week I bought 4-5 papayas (so yummy!) for FJ$1, approximately 50 cents Cdn. Lots of spices, Indian sweets and Fijian “home-cooked” meals can be found here too. Vegetables, on the other hand, are not as abundant. The inside of the market is mainly commercial and things tend to be not as fresh, while the outside has all of the farmers from inland who come into town Thursday night. They sleep outside at the market until Saturday afternoon.

 Inside the market

This is kava, which is ground up and turned into an alcoholic drink. Fiji is known for the kava drink and I'm sure it is all part of the tourist experience, but it has contributed to a lot of alcoholism in Fiji.

 What a crazy kid! He was at the market and I'm not sure who he was teasing, but he kept making the funniest faces!

The waterfront, where I go jogging early in the morning (so hot, even at 6am!).

I've posted more photos on my Facebook page, which you can access by clicking here.

Thanks for reading,

Christy

Right Where I Belong

Well, I've finally done it. 

I'm a blogger.

And it only took 6400 kilometers of travel to convince me to give it a go. A real go.

That, and a million questions from family (mostly my Mom), friends and coworkers about what would ever convince a 33 year old woman to leave her life behind for six months- a life full of all the "rights things"- a great career, nice little home, a hopeless non-existent love life (oops, how did that one sneak in there?!), great friends, family, a good income, a cute cat named Lola, stability, consistency, familiarity...

I mean, it's only six months, people!

So, what would convince this 33 year old woman to skip town and go away for six months?

God.

It's as simple and as complicated as that.

In fact, my story may sound familiar to some of you (that is, assuming anyone is following this blog... ). To some, it may even sound normal. But normalcy is not what I have ever craved out of life. That may be why I chose to become a paramedic, a career I love and enjoy very much. However, this beloved career of mine isn't one that sees a lot of retirees. So a couple of years ago, I decided to become proactive... insanely proactive. Ridiculously proactive. In addition to my regular full time duties as a paramedic, I completed my business degree and became a project leader for a major healthcare initiative. To say I was busy was the understatement of the year. 2010 was the year it all came grinding to a halt. A rather abrupt, crushing halt. It wasn't pretty and it left me empty, desolate and feeling like I had wasted the last couple years of my life. The undertow of it all was dark, bleak and I was fighting to stay above water. Fighting just to breathe. But I fought the good fight and grabbed on to the only Lifesaver I knew. And it was Him who saved me. Again.


As I clung onto my Lifesaver and regained life, the overwhelming busyness of my former life was a stench that I could not forget. A coworker once sent me an email that told the story of Satan and his minions. They were having a meeting, plotting how to tempt and destroy the world. Their "devious" plan? To distract the world from God with overwhelming idle busyness. Does it work? The conviction I was feeling told me it did. Our lives are overflowing with activities, television, the internet, work commitments, Facebook, meetings, committees, Twitter, cell phones, text messages, advertising... where do I fit God into all of this busyness? More importantly, why am I trying to "fit" Him into my life, instead of making Him the priority in my life? 

I vowed to never be that busy again.

Last spring, I was on the internet one day, looking up information about Fiji for an upcoming missions trip I was involved in. I stumbled upon the website for the Islands in the Sun Discipleship Training School. As I read over the information, I heard God call me His daughter and He told me that He was proud of me and all I have accomplished in this world. And then He gave me an invitation that I could not refuse: it was time to put aside things for the world and for He and I to get to know one another and to build a strong relationship... and I was to start it by joining this “Islands in the Sun DTS” in Fiji. I said yes immediately and then began to wonder how I could leave my life for six months, a life full of all the "rights things" to get up and go to Fiji because God told me so?

A long story short, I am sitting here in Fiji, no worries about my life in Canada. A good, trustworthy friend is taking care of my home and my cat (thank you Ardelle- you are appreciated!). I have been granted a leave from work until July. I have been prayerfully sent off by my church. I have a steady income until the end of May. And, I have been blessed with loving encouragement from friends and family. Not once did I ever have to wonder or worry. Every detail, down to what underpants (I love that word) I took with me, was taken care by God. There's no doubt in my mind that I am here for a reason, right where I belong.

There is a Fijian proverb that caught my eye: 


"Life is like this: sometimes sun, sometimes rain" 


... and that is the inspiration for this blog and for my time in Fiji.

Thanks for reading,

Christy